मेरा दिल खुला है

Mera Dil Khula Hai

In a recent post, I talked at length about the how and the why of being single over the last 7 years… it’s been a journey of self-discovery, loneliness, growth and most importantly a lesson in understanding the importance of vulnerability.

A few months ago, I was driving back to Athens, where I moved only about a year ago. I lost my job back home on the Mississippi Gulf Coast and was blessed and lucky enough to land a job in North Alabama a few months later. I never would have guessed in a million years that I’d be moving away from my family, friends, and son to head 7 hours north to a little town called Athens. It wasn’t in my plan, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I’m the only person I have to count on, and I definitely have to pay the bills.

I’d gone home to the Gulf Coast to visit with family and friends and was driving back to Athens when I absentmindedly touched my finger lightly to my sternum… and I felt a tiny little shock! I was surprised – can you even shock yourself? I started to think what in the world it could have been when I realized it was the exact area of my heart chakra. Now I know charkas aren’t something that everyone ‘buys’ into, but I’ve been interested in personal energy for a few years. I don’t want to go too far into a rabbit hole, but if physics tells us anything, it’s that we’re all matter and energy – so I don’t feel as if it’s too far fetched to order our personal energy into a system which can be studied and analyzed.

I’d been doing a bit of meditation and focusing on different chakras in the body, and in particular the heart chakra. I immediately started reading about symptoms of a heart chakra opening, and an electric shock was on the list… whether it’s right or wrong or something inbetween, I chose to accept that my heart chakra focus accomplished something and realized that my heart was opening – opening to love, to humility and grace, to possibility.

I find the practice of vulnerability to be an interesting concept in alignment with reciprocity… that is, you get what you give. This concept of reciprocity is buried in so much – the golden rule, the old adage ‘you reap what you sow’, and the first line of the Emerald Tablet, ‘as above so below’. There are universal truths that exist and we’ve been learning about these basic truths through the lens of our personal cultures for millennia. To me, all roads lead to the same place. Whether we choose to accept this or not decides our openness to other religion, ideas, and culture. But, essentially, my mind works in giant, macro-sized conceptual thought. It’s easier for me that way – details schmetails.

Brené Brown, an American professor who researches courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, has given us myriad ideas, books, and data on these topics. She’s amazing, and I adore her and her work. A few years ago, I stumbled on a powerful Ted Talk she gave in 2011 where she discusses the idea and the power of vulnerability… which of course led me to read her book, “The Power of Vulnerability”. I’ve read many of her books at this point, and I’d encourage you to do the same.

“In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen”. -Brené Brown.

Brené says that vulnerability is having the courage to be imperfect, having the compassion to be kind to yourself first, and to others which leads to connection through authenticity.

How wonderful is that?

It is difficult, but I strive to live a life of vulnerability. I realized years ago that so many of us are too afraid, too shy, too scared, too protected. We don’t take the risk – but how will we ever garner the reward without first putting ourselves out there? If you don’t try, you’ll never know. Because of this, I often try to be the person who models a life of vulnerability. I’ve gotten burned many times. I’ve had really hateful things said about me, but for the most part I can honestly say that I’ve always given my best effort. It hurts at times, but when I am lying on my death bed, I don’t want to be riddled with regret.

To get, you must first give.

You have to be open to something for it to come to you. A dear friend of mine used to say, “God meets you halfway”.

I ran across this from Gabby Bernstein the other day, and I think she sums it up quite perfectly:

I decided to make that tiny, weird electric shock a permanent reminder that I try to live every single day with my heart open to possibility. I tattooed it down my chakra center as a reminder that when your heart is open, pain will enter. But so will love and happiness and authenticity and life and joy. My heart now bears the reminder that I choose to live a life of vulnerability each day that I am granted breath in my lungs.

“Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

May you have an abundance of love and joy and gratitude.